VanMoof bicycles have all the time made information.
In 2011, then-general supervisor Jasmijn Rijcken alleged that an NYPD officer stopped her on the Brooklyn Bridge for biking in a skirt:
On the time lots of people thought this was a publicity stunt–me included–although looking back I type of really feel dangerous about that since possibly the NYPD officer was hitting on her and one ought to by no means underestimate how sleazy males could be. However, I nonetheless blame VanMoof, who had very a lot been utilizing intercourse to promote bicycles, and who previous to that had despatched me this e-mail, which nonetheless offers me the douche chills:
Right here’s the video, by the way in which:
So I don’t know what to consider, besides that Willemeike and that NYPD officer ought to most likely hit it off.
Then in 2016 VanMoof debuted their “Sensible Bike.” They had been definitely among the many first firms to include all kinds of digital expertise into their bikes, and I used to be definitely among the many first to level out that this was silly:
Subsequent, in 2021, VanMoof introduced the “Hyperbike:”
Unsurprisingly, ‘roided-out e-bikes did completely nothing to switch vehicles, however they’re doing a improbable job of destroying the bike lane community–even in Amsterdam, apparently:
All of that is to say that I’m not precisely damaged up over VanMoof’s current chapter, and whereas I hate to say I instructed you so…properly, in case you purchased one in all these items and now remorse it, sorry, however I instructed you so:
I imply look, it sucks to spend a lot of cash on a flowery e-bike after which must journey 90 miles to see a “Bike Physician:”
However there’s a solution to keep away from that, and it’s NOT BUYING A BICYCLE THAT RUNS ON FUCKING BATTERIES.
It’s a automobile substitute till something goes unsuitable with it, then it’s a highway journey.
Hey, I’ve stated it earlier than, however it bears repeating: The bicycle is essentially the most environment friendly type of transport ever devised by humankind, and it makes about as a lot sense to complicate it with batteries and electronics because it does to make a “sensible broom:”
And sure, in fact you should purchase a sensible broom:
It’s 2024 and also you now want an battery-powered broom and an educational video to simply sweep a couple of bits of paper up off the ground:
Now that’s progress.
As for me, all my bike are dumb, not sensible, and that’s the way in which I prefer it:
This weekend I headed out for a 30-mile trip into the “nation” (suburbs), after which straight again into city to run an errand, and I couldn’t have requested for something extra out of this bike, least of all a battery that requires a Bike Physician and an built-in climate alert:
Positive, I’m getting older, and possibly someday I’ll want that e-assist, however for now if I need to make life simpler for myself I’ll simply trip a step-thru:
I don’t sometimes learn the feedback on YouTube movies I’m in, however I couldn’t assist however discover this one:
I do not know if he’s severe or not, however there are individuals who assume this fashion, which is ironic as a result of have you ever checked out a mountain bike not too long ago?
Not solely is the highest tube simply as little as any mixte, however it additionally has comfortable shock absorbers throughout it so you are feeling as little as potential it doesn’t matter what you’re using, and even a seat that goes up and down so that you don’t harm your widdwe pee-pee.
However, you realize, by some means this can be a MAN’S BIKE, as a result of it’s for SHREDDING and SENDING IT or one thing, despite the fact that each of these verbs sound like they need to apply to belongings you’d purchase at Staples.
